Love: How Do You Know It's Real?

Love is patient, love is kind, love is blind. We've all heard these quotes before. But, let's be real. Most of us are clueless about love. Raise your hand if you've ever looked up the definition of love. Yes, of course. We practically drive ourselves insane reading blogs, horoscopes, self-help books, and watching every romantic film.

Unfortunately, we still have no clue. I'm not just referring to the definition of love, but the meaning of the word. I've been asked, "What do you think love is?" before. My answer is always, sacrifice. Love is sacrificing something for the sake of someone or something else.

I've never been in love, so I suppose I'm no expert. I have seen people I love, "be in love". Unfortunately, most of these people seem to fall out of love, experience heartbreak, or unrequited love. Can you truly love someone who doesn't love you? How do you know if love is real? Do you have to be willing to kill yourself as Juliet did? I'm kidding. Don't be a drama queen like that chick.

I believe that love is real. There are, of course, different phases of love. Mark Manson writes about the three loves theory from anthropologist, Helen Fisher.

The first love is lust, "It’s instantaneous and based on pretty straightforward physical and behavioral components of attraction". The second love is passion, "passion cannot be cultivated without lust, although a couple can remain passionate with one another after the lust disappears...passion’s death is wrought by a lack of shared experience and lack of newness". The third love is a commitment, "commitment is when you emotionally accept and love the other person’s flaws as much as their strengths".

So, can you only know love is true once you've reached the third love, commitment? Perhaps, love is surreal until its in front of you staring you in the face. What are your thoughts? How do you know when love is real? Comment below.

16 views0 comments

©2020 by Matters of the Heart. Proudly created with