What do I deserve? I ask myself this question often. For the past year, I've been seeing this guy off and on again. He is not my type, but I continue to date him. He's sweet, but there are several times when he ghost me. He has an ex girlfriend that he's always talking about and is still very close to. I know what you're thinking. Why am I bothering with this guy? Am I settling? Do I deserve better?
The answer is, I don't know. Yes. And, um, YEAH! But it's not that simple. For me, it's difficult to let go of people. I can't ghost someone, leave them on read or block them from my life. I'm just not made that way. So how do I move on and when do I decide I deserve better? Whether you've been in a relationship for years or you're just entering a new one, how do you learn to let go when you know it's not serving you?
I recently read this blog post by My Slightly Chaotic Life called, Ladies, you deserve better. In this blog post the author, Danielle, writes about how she was in an unhealthy relationship. She list ten ways you deserve better.
You deserve better than being told you can’t do something.
You deserve better than being messaged constantly and degraded when you go out for “girl’s night.”
You deserve better than someone trying to control your life.
You deserve better than being called demeaning and cruel names during arguments.
You deserve better than having someone threaten you: threaten to break up with you, divorce you, what not because you are doing something that they don’t like.
You deserve better than being told that you are a terrible mom for making the choice to pursue your passion.
You deserve better than a partner who constantly discourages your goals because they don’t agree with them.
You deserve better than being told that no one else will love you.
You deserve better than someone who strips away your self worth, dignity and self-esteem.
You deserve someone who encourages you, supports you, hugs you after a bad day, tells you your beautiful, holds your hand, laughs at your jokes (even when they are not funny), hangs with the kids while you go out to girl’s night, supports your life and career goals, encourages you to eat the last ice cream bar and above all else treats you as an equal.
If you feel like you are constantly being put down, made to feel less than, called names and overall miserable then it is time to reevaluate your relationship. -My Slightly Chaotic Life
So how do we move on from unhealthy relationships? You just have to do it. It's important to value your self more than you value that unhealthy relationship. It'll be so difficult, it's true. You will feel like you've lost a bit of your heart. But, the truth is, the heart can be deceiving. You can't trust it. I know that I have to realize that being alone is better than being alone in a relationship. What are your thoughts? Are you in an unhealthy relationship too? Do you have tips for those who are?